I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
