if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
And then he peed in my hair
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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