You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
