i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
