haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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