you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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