ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
