you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
