ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Is it penis luge time yet?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
