I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
