you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Princesses don't give blow jobs
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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