Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
