It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
should my penis look like a turkey
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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