I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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