She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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