woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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