I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
