I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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