Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
