Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
