Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
