I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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