she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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