I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
