So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is it because I queefed?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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