i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
