What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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