i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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