Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
