so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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