if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
