we have officially lost it.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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