remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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