How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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