mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
