we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Randomize
