with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
