I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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