im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
