Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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