the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
