My first STD was from a foam party
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
