His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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