She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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