ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
