I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
