just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
