Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
