I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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