Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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