Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
