If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
