only if we run a train.
done.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
