I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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