Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
